They're Plotting Against Me

I really love being a mom. I knew that it would be the best thing that I would do in my life, and it's even better. I love the sweet moments, like this morning when my 2 and (almost) a half year old daughter M told my seven month old son T that she hoped he'd had a good sleep and asked him what he had dreamed about. So sweet.

However, there's at least one moment everyday that is surreal. I find myself doing something that I could never have imagined before I had kids. Sometimes it's ridiculous - my husband and I frantically tossing our house searching for Bear, M's little stuffy that she always carries around. The few times that I haven't found Bear, I've resorted to elaborate stories about what Bear might be doing. Maybe he went to the store? Maybe he went to visit Grandma? Maybe he's in jail? That last one is a joke, but I find that the stories are getting more fantastic as she gets older.

The most surreal moments of my day to day life now revolve around the bathroom. I just want to warn you, if you're thinking about having kids, you might want to stop reading right here. You've been warned!

M can use the potty. She's a very smart girl (naturally, I'd say she's a genius). She's also very, very feisty. At first she enjoyed the novelty of the potty. We made a big deal over every time she went. But, she's recently decide that she isn't going to use the potty - no way, no how. The problem is that I'm so over diapers, it's not funny. Some days I feel like I'm just alternating between changing each kid's diaper. As soon as one is changed, the other needs to be changed.

So, back to M. I really want to be patient and let her go at her own pace. But, I'm not above trying to bribe her. I've tried various things - Smarties (the Canadian chocolates, similar to M & M's), pulling out the new Valentine's Day stickers, painting, etc. Yesterday I tried to bribe her with big girl diapers - pull-ups! Only for big girls. You just pull them down and go to the potty. Two hours later, cue M coming into the living room and presenting me with a VERY full pull-up that she figured out how to pull off, all by her big girl self! Ugh. The clean up. Let's just say that some of her room was left unscathed, some was not.

Shortly thereafter, M heads out the door and I decide that this is a good time to give T a desperately needed bath. My back has been hurting, so I bathe him in the kitchen sink. He's so cute, sitting by himself, laughing and splashing. A rare quiet moment in our house. I pull out my camera:

A minute later, he makes a funny noise that he usually makes while pooping. I scoop him out quickly and he pees on me. It says something about how long I've been parenting when I tell you that my only reaction is to laugh. My, how times have changed.

That's when I go to drain the water and discover that there was a surprise left for me in there too. It gets worse from there, but I think I've already shared enough disgusting details for today. Let's just say I wasn't laughing anymore.

But seriously, two gross incidents in one day? I think they meet up at some point during the night and plan that they're both going to get me the next day. At least the bleach was already out.